Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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