i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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