4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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