Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize