Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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