apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
