honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
