and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
