dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
