She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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