Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
