Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
