Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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