I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
