she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
