That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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