ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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