DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
