i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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