I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
