Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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