you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
