So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
