Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
