just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
