I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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