Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
