I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
