She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
