I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize