fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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