he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
