my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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