Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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