AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
