I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
