Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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