They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
