So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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