i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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