I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
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$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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