spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
