Swine flu. Run for my life!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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