Kiss
Puke
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
should my penis look like a turkey
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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