Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
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I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
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I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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