Swine flu. Run for my life!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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