guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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