Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
