Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
