never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
