Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
