just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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