i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize