My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
