Nicole vs. Life
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
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